sasya_fox

-Everywhere- fox.

From MFF to Virginia, straight from Virginia to Dallas, building out our DR datacenter.

Boy am I tired. I've been either working, eating, sleeping, on an airliner, or driving between one of those every minute for almost two weeks now, with one exception- I went flying tod.. er.. yest.. some day .. I think it was yesterday morning. (I haven't slept much in the past two weeks.. it's all blended together kinda into one big day). Got some Pitts time.. RAWR. <3

Naturally, I loved every second of it. Lovely airplane.

Now, not but a few days after getting back from Dallas, I fly to Bahston with the fox.

Actually, Dallas was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. It has that southern friendliness that reminds me of Home (with a capital 'H').. And sweet ice tea. Maybe the two are related?

I'm actually going to miss Dallas.. except for the toll roads.. those are bull.

So, right, um, where was I? Oh yeah.. Pitts.. damned thing is as telepathic as my old F4.. reminds me of it, in fact. And actually, I felt as though I was born in the airplane.

Except for the acro.. I was a bit ham-handed at the acro.. but it's been a while and the Pitts is enormously sensitive.

I did ok.. but just ok. But then again, the first time I went to float over the top in the Pitts, I found myself established in a happy nose-down (Well, positive, but very slightly diving) attitude, with no more impetus to continue down the back side of the loop. Dah! I was also slightly off line, slightly off level and a little cockeyed.

Slow rolls.. ridiculously easy, but the pitts is .. well, you get the picture.. very sensitive .. and I found myself pushing way too much negative during much of the maneuver.

Well, it's ok. Just need some practice. Give me a Pitts, and a star to steer her by, and I will learn her, live her, love her form and grace, and flow with her into the inky blue heavens.

The statement "You don't climb into a pitts, you strap it on" .. is very true.

Anyway, homeward bound!

Foxy luvs you all. *Wags and wraps soft black paws around you, spinning you around with a big ol' smooch*

~Foxy

I'm at MFF! ^.^

Brought 1.5lbs of Ethiopia Guji Sidamo DP, a pound of Happyfox blend, a Baratza Maestro (grinder), an aeropress, my chemex and a kettle. So I've got the coffee part covered.

Poke me. Please! :> Otherwise I'll just sit in the room all con long. :<

~Foxy!

Perhaps I differ greatly from what is considered 'normal', in terms of behaviour and social mores. Actually, I'm sure of it. I hold myself to what I consider to be a very high standard, in many contexts- I don't lie, cheat, or steal, as a general rule. I certainly don't, if I realize that I'm doing it, and if I realize I've done any of the above, I will go to whatever lengths necessary to correct it.

Now, that said--and this is important--while I may privately judge people by my standards, I hold nobody but myself to them. I understand that most people feel it necessary to lie, cheat and steal in order to survive and thrive-- and many otherwise honorable people need to do such things in a world in which everybody else does them by default. It's not a nice place out there, and as such, I respect that people must make their own decisions, and more importantly develop their own sense of morality. Personal moral standards are that to which I hold people, and that by which I openly judge them.

Truth be told I'm not a popular person. I don't think I'm 'un'popular-- just mostly unknown or unconsidered. I'm mostly ok with that. I also realize that with my principals and standards, I'm not going to become a popular person. I'm mostly ok with that, too, although it saddens me that trying to be good and honest is a tertiary factor that alienates me from my 'peers', as such. There are plenty of other reasons that are likely more prominent (Hence the 'tertiary'), but most of those are intrinsic to my nature.

Anyway, I just do my best- as we all do.

~Foxy

Sea Kittens

It got me thinking.. the above, in a way, does illustrate a problem of perception, although to me it illustrates it in a way of which PETA would disapprove.

Disclaimer: The below are my personal mores -- I do not expect anyone else to share them. A significant contributory to my overall system of beliefs, such as they are, is the notion that if a system is balanced and built properly at its core, the overall system needs no exhaustive analysis, and intuition can guide the rest with great accuracy. I find this to be the case in almost every system, though the concept is both simpler and more complex than the expression thereof.

..

The fundamental problem with hunting or fishing is not the act of hunting or fishing itself, but the intent behind the act. Killing a living being, separating its spirit from its body, is an act infused with great power.

Words and language fail me; there exist no terms descriptive enough to express this, but I'll try nonetheless.

When you kill a living being to stay alive, or to protect your life, those who depend on you for protection, or the well being of another, or for predation, it's a natural, neutral act. It needs no defense, and demands no apology. However, there's a certain power associated with it.. a fundamental love, appreciation and respect for that thing which you've killed, which you must honor as feels most appropriate to you.

To kill a baitfish to catch a big fish to eat for dinner does not lack respect. To hunt deer and use the flesh, bone and skin does not lack respect.

The problem begins when an attitude of depersonalization is adopted. When you begin to treat an animal merely as a walking, slithering or swimming source of protein, or as a nuisance, and to treat its death without the consequence it affords, you strip away the love, the respect and the honor.. you refuse to grant the respect that should be afforded a living creature who dies for you, by your hand.

When you refuse to accept that all living things* deserve your respect, whether you take their lives or not, and that you accept the gravity of their death by according it the honor that their life deserved, you begin to destroy.
You destroy the seas. Why not? Fish can't feel pain, right? They have no consciousness. They're not self-aware!
You destroy the land. Why not? GOD put all this here for us, right? Subdivisions make more money than trees!
You destroy the air. Why not? After all, it's just another resource.
You destroy the animals you kill, or callously caused to be killed. Why not? I mean, I don't care where the meat comes from, as long as I don't have to see it or smell it while it's still alive!
You destroy the ecosystem that exists around you. Why not? I hate spiders! I'd kill them all if I could.
You destroy, you rape, you consume, you waste, or by method of action encourage the same.
You destroy a little of yourself and everyone around you; destroy the future; desecrate the care of those who came before.
Everything is a number. Everything is a resource. Death is a statistic, and the individuality of no creature is recognized. In this enlightened era, even the individuality of humans is ignored except for the most notable.

We devalue ourselves, disrupt our world, destroy the other creatures that live thereon, and ignore the future.

Not just for money.

Not because we care about nothing.

Not because we're evil.

We do all these things, directly or by proxy, because of a socialized lack of respect for life. Cattlemen have not always kept their cattle in conditions calculated to keep them alive just long enough to get them to market at a minimum price, with an acceptable mortality rate. Fishing concerns have not always destroyed the sea and its inhabitants, with no concern for the balance of the fishery. Building concerns have not always destroyed coastlines and consumed all available land just to compartmentalize an overgrown society, and government has not always diverted rivers and streams to feed the metropolis.
Certainly practical concerns factored in to this in no small part, but there was also respect for the stock, for the health of the fishery, for the land, for the river. Those who took were also custodians of the taking. Now we have commoditized so far beyond reason that at the top level everything's a number, and at the bottom level everything's a job. The sparkle of life in the eye of the next Ruth's Chris filet mignon is no longer taken with any iota of respect for the meal, but with a callous hand or by a machine on a conveyer belt.

We commoditize supply for commodity people, in commodity housing, themselves just another resource.

To what end?

~Foxy
*- In my lexicon that laden term is stretched to mountains and rivers, sea and plain.. it's a gestalt that envelops all that forms and functions as life, whether flora, fauna, mineral or energy, and has my respect.
PS. I am aware that none of this is particularly 'novel'. Many cultures embrace various aspects of this at some level, though most embrace these things at a low priority, quickly overridden by the needs of the masses. But it's what feels right to me, at the core, as a predator among those who deny their own predation-by-proxy. I avoid taking life but do not eschew it.

I got in my first hockey fight in a while last night.

We were losing 4-2 in a single-elimination playoff game.. we were playing five on three (shorthanded) with 42 seconds left.

The game had been a very physical game, with some decidedly dirty play by our opponents (Who have been playing that way as long as I've known them).

One of their players slashed me behind the play, then began skating up the ice and laughing at me. (No, really, I mean literally .. he slashed me, mocked me, and skated off) Well, I caught up to him quickly, put him in a headlock, and gave him a few body shots before driving him to the ice and holding him down. He squirmed feebly for a few moments, then as everybody gathered around he started screaming "Let me go! Let me go!" and writhing, flailing his arms and feet around. I have to admit that I sorta just kept holding him there for a good while for a while while he flailed, grinning my head off because he looked so dumb. Judo FTW, I guess.

Anyway, as soon as the refs were in, I let him go.
He started screaming "You fucking faggot! Nice pink gloves. Fucking pink-gloved faggot! Faggot!"

I made a condescending clapping gesture and shook my head with a pitying grin. Robbed for words, he screamed "Faggot" and "Pink-gloved faggot" a few more times as we both were escorted to the box. I think he really expected a reaction.

Poor soul.

But boy that was fun. ^.^;

~Foxy

Welp, I'm back from Florida. Am I happy to be back? No, not really.. but I can't stay and play forever, I guess-- not with my current goals and responsibilities. It does feel like more of a natural, pure life though.

Now that I'm back, I am, among other things, considering what I want to do next in aviation. I may make a poll, just for curiosity's sake, but basically I'm trying to decide between getting back to doing acro (Finishing my Great Lakes checkout), starting my Mooney 252 checkout (250mph... holyshittravellingmachine will actually get me there and make flying long distances a viable option.), starting on my commercial (I passed 250 hours earlier this year), starting on my multi, or looking into a course of study that will garner me my commercial, multi and maybe CFI.. or doing something fun like pursuing my glider rating or my airplane single engine sea (Both reasonably simple and somewhat inexpensive add-ons, by contrast).

I also felt a deep pull to start diving again, after spending some time in the gulf of mexico.. and I realized how much I missed fishing.

So many considerations.

~Foxy

I'm off in 45 minutes to San Diego for the seminar and my commercial long cross country. :> 
http://flightaware.com/live/flight/N600JG

If you look now, you'll see the flight me and my instructor did to MOD to get my approaches in.

But all else being equal, I should be heading out in a few minutes, after which anyone curious can track me again. :> 

<Ooops-- I failed to post this.... Now I'm in San Diego.. :> Ignore the filed route, I was amended to hell and back.  But it was an awesome flight. :> So pretty.

~Foxy

I feel great sorrow for the great many people in the world who have, through scorn or disabusement, through knocks, circumstance, or a predisposition to favour the solely the intellect when the gut might say different, lost, given away or scorned the romantic side of their nature.

It is easier to tear down than to build up. It is easier to mock than to create. It is easier to take cheap thrills laughing at the dreams of others than to expose your own dreams, even to yourself.

By far easiest, however, is for one to band together with ones smug brethren, each and all so silently terrified of being scorned that they repress even the knowledge that they're afraid, to rip down all the perceived 'fantasy' that surrounds them, inject "reality" into circumstance, and to mock firmly any belief that differs from ones own.

It's a beautiful world, full of magic, love and wonder. Beauty and death, storms and solitude, power and grace, all infinite in scale shrink to nothing under the withering gaze of analysis and "reason" (two forces which cannot explain why they cannot explain that which they cannot explain), but fill every breath of consciousness when left alone to be.

~Foxy

Leaving this evening for Pittsburgh. ^^ Bringing hockey gear and a pound of freshly (last night) roasted coffee- a bag of Ethiopian Yirgacheffe and a bag of Yemen Mokha Harasi. <3

Anything else I should bring?

Hope to see you there!

<3

~Foxy

I haven't been flying since getting half-way through my Great Lakes 2T checkout in January. (About the time I got let go)

I'm still jobhunting, but I've sorta noticing a common theme of not-that-many openings. I've had a few meta interviews, but my first-order interviews have not come to fruition.

I've been considering a great many different options, failing gainful employment. Law enforcement suits my personality and is currently (Once again, for the fourth time in five years) under my examination as a possible career. Air traffic control suits my personality and temperament, but I only have about half a year left to actually apply for the job before I'm too old-- (Sidebar: HOW did I get so old?!? I still haven't decided what I want to do when I grow up! :<)-- and there are no current FAA announcements for OTS (Off The Street) hiring. "Going to college" wasn't an option when I was younger, with no debt, as I had no money.. and it's no more of an option now.

Moving somewhere snowy and rural is high on the possibilities list, but lacks any real practicality. Working at a coffee shop would probably be fun for a short while and then lose all luster- and still not pay the bills.

Flying is, sadly, not an option at the moment. I can't afford to put in the training for my commercial and CFI. At least I've got my instrument.. but building on it will have to wait. It occurred to me a few weeks ago that it was the twelfth anniversary of getting my pilots license. TWELVE YEARS. It's pathetic to have the meager number of hours I have to show for twelve years of wanting nothing more than to fly. My whole reason for moving to California was to get enough cash to fly for a living... but I got sidetracked by accidentally gaining a career. (Which now appears to be faltering, despite me being f-ing good at what I do.)

All things considered, things are very mixed at the moment. I slide further into debt each day, with no real options except incurring more debt, either in waiting to get some job or in training for a new career. It's harrying, however, to try and decide whether it's worth it to switch from a dynamic, fun career making a lot of money.. but one that might be essentially over.. to one where I MIGHT have more quality of life and gain more enjoyment out of my work, making less than a third of what I was before, with no guarantees on hiring or career prospect.

Meh. At the moment, I'm a professional hockey ref, and that's nowhere near enough to keep me afloat.

~Foxy

Uhhuh.. uhhuh!! ^.^;;

I would SO TOTALLY have Bolt's puppies.. yis yis.

Even if it were more than two litters. ^.^;

~Foxy

Abraham George
4:31 PM
Hello Griffin,

I have been in search of someone that bear this name "Griffin" so when I saw your name I was pushed to contact you and see how best we can assist each other, And at thesame time, this letter must come to you as a big surprise, but I believe it is only a day that people meet and become great friends and business partners. I AM ABRAHAM GEORGE, Chief coporate banking with a reputable bank here in U. A. E. I write you this proposal in good faith, believing that I can trust you with the information I am about to reveal to you.

( Read more... )

I'm making this post from seat 7F of VRD 358 at FL310 enroute SFO-BOS.

That is all.

~Foxy

For a while after achieving burnout, for one reason or another, I find it very difficult to achieve a high-beta state.. I'm usually in an "active alpha" state. As time winds on, I may start dropping down to alpha, but engaging sporadically in beta state. During normal operations, I might be predominately in a moderate beta state.

But every once in a while, I kick into overdrive and go into a high beta "hypomania" for a couple of weeks. It usually signals the end of a protracted period of rest and recovery, although if nothing concrete is achieved by the end of the hypomanic period, I tend to drop back into a "resting" state.

Part of it may be in how I accept, reject and handle stress. Part of it may be inherent function of my subconscious. Unfortunately, my organization is lacking in all states, and while my drive for internal organization is highest in the hypomanic state, I might find that I later slip out of any structure I manufacture for myself whilst in high-beta.

A nice example of my system of organization is .. well, the entire beginning of this entry. To me, it's actually organized in a cohesive way-- it's bound to specific tangents that, for me, flow obviously. However, I recognize that to many people.. perhaps even most.. it will look like just a rambling splat of text.. if anyone's even read this far. :>

At any rate, to summarize.. I'm inherently disorganized unless I have been trained or trained myself in a system of organization that I am to use without fail. Boating, flying, and other such activities suit my temperment perfectly for this reason; Creative endeavours that don't require a cohesive structure also are lent to well. Even systems administration is something I'm _very_ good at- proficiency and experience aside- as long as I'm allowed autonomy and don't have to play ball with a stupid manager who wants metrics and objectives and other nonsense.

(Sidebar: Things used to be very clear; When a sysadmin was doing his job, nobody noticed, except for a lingering sense of pride that they had a good admin staff and stuff never broke. Sysadmins were smart, savvy, knew what they were doing inside and out, and were left alone. Business, however, didn't understand what sysadmins did, were horrified not to have "metrics for evaluating performance" of these seeming renegade individuals, and couldn't conscience the thought of actually hiring someone they could rely on and.. well, relying on them. So they used the industry collapse in 1999/2000 to justify the emasculation of the sysadmin, converting them to cogs in the gears of corporate life, empowering high-level people to make low-level technical decisions for which they were completely unqualified, and leading to the disaster of a tech industry that we have today. I hate business people with great passion. I need to find an idea to execute on, so that I can succeed and show those over-educated morons how to do things.)

Part of the adventure in coming back to a hypomanic state is the adventure of pulling everything together and creating a short-term tactical analysis that will give me a few more avenues of exploration. Another part is getting hyper-organized for a time, and setting the ground work for determining what strategic shift, if any, I need to make. Another part is forming long-range plans and contingency strategies that will allow me good, or at least neutral, choices at any forseen point.. the essence of good strategy.

At the moment, I have five or so threads going at any time, but no inherent organization or even correlation amongst them.

If only I could show people what was inside my head, maybe they'd understand me better.

Or maybe I'm just crazy. ^.~

~Foxy

At least my Allstate agent remembers my birthday. (Well, Allstate's automated system does, at any rate)

Ah well.

~Foxy

For the past couple of days, I've been working on writing a new piece. Early this morning I got Sibelius working and things progressed more quickly.

It's not "Done"- I'm still actively working on it.. but I'd like to call the core reasonably solid, though I reserve the right to change it subtly or wholesale.

At any rate, I figured I might as well render it out via midi and post it to FA. If you can find the time to listen and give me your thoughts, they would not go unappreciated-- I realize that it's probably not everyone's bag.. it may be something that nobody likes at all... But it makes me happy to write and share it nonetheless.

Since my colo box is down (And has been since November.. sigh), I posted it up to FA.

http://www.furaffinity.net/full/1987116/

Being rendered to midi takes a lot of the beauty (that I feel) away, but I can't play eight bars of quarter notes on the piano without going out of time, much less play this sort of stuff. If I can find someone to play it for me, I'll post that up instead.

Anyway, thanks for reading; If you found the time to listen, I owe you my thanks.

Hope you like it. :>

~Foxy

I just officiated my 400th hockey game.

Yay.

*Flump*

~Foxy

I'll be in room 350 with Orzel.

That said, I have to work today and tomorrow.. so I'll be there in the evenings.
Saturday, I should be there the whole day.
Sunday I'll be there all day, except for a game in which I play goalie at 7:30ish.

If I still have a job on Monday, I'll have to work that day, too.

Whee.

My number is (650) 215-0514.
My phone's always on AIM, as 'sasyafox'.

~Foxy

28 degrees (With a wind chill of 19 degrees).. and clear here on a beautiful Florida morning at 06:45. The Otherfox is still in bed, and I'm curled up down here by the fire (Only source of heat). Temperature is supposed to be dropping throughout the day and be even colder tonight.

By Wednesday, it's supposed to be back up into the 70s.

Haven't really done too much yet, despite having been here since Friday evening. Just eaten some, wandered around some... Played a fair amount of music with my parents. I missed talking music with people on my wavelength. Haven't really decided what to do today, either.

Why am I up this early?

C'est la vie... life is good at the moment. ^.^

Foxies frolic in Florida frost.

~Foxy

My Logitech team is playing a game in the Shark tank (HP Pavilion) after a game between the San Jose Sharks and the Chicago Blackhawks on Jan 31, 2009.

There are still tickets available, in three different price ranges/seating options.. come for the Sharks, stay for .. well, me? ^.~

Anyone interested?

~Foxy